With today’s 24-hour content churning mills, much ado gets made about nothing and everything, including parenting. One fun outcome of this is a much more advanced system of categorization of personalities, including friendship, dating, and romantic styles. Do you remember those quizzes in women’ s magazines in the 80s and 90s? The title would pose some question such as “How Flirtatious is Your Personality?” or “Is Your Relationship Built to Last?” We’d grab a pen and circle the answer that most applied to us in these multiple-choice quizzes, and excitedly tally our results to check the answer key and be told what “type” we are.

Today, we have even more options for labelling ourselves, especially when it comes to parenting. While once moms were broadly divided into simply being “hands-off” or “hands-on”, now there are several categories that span a variety of approaches and mindsets. Let’s take a look at all the different mom types there are, and how each type presents itself in South India versus the Western world that developed this concept.

Type A Mom
There are 2 words that Type A moms live by: routine and schedule. These moms stay sane by running a tight ship. They have rules for pretty much everything, from what the kids are allowed to eat, to firm limits on screentime, and what time they go to bed. These ladies usually have colour coded Google calendars, and find comfort and security in strictly adhering to a routine. They are the first to see and note every communication from school, and definitely the moms who take charge in group projects, creating a WhatsApp group with the project title before others have even seen the assignment. However, the perfectionism that most Type A moms strive for can easily lead to overwhelm and burnout. It can be especially hard to be a Type A mom in India, where loosely organized chaos is the norm, but these women usually draw upon corporate work experience (see the aforementioned colour-coded calendars) to set themselves apart from the next category.

Type B Mom
Instead of living and dying by the schedule and routine, Type B moms breeze and flow their way through parenting. These are the moms who blink at the concept of a bedtime for an infant, instead using a baby’s portability as justification for putting them down anywhere, anytime. A full-fledged Type B doesn’t stress about her kids getting perfect nutrition or too much screen time, and shrugs it off when things slip through the cracks; forgetting about the early dismissal notification from school, being 15 minutes late for tuition class. She may be this way because she is too busy with other roles, such as her job, or running a large household. Or she may not be that occupied, but simply a relaxed person who doesn’t have the best executive functioning. While I have not painted a very flattering picture thus far, none of this means that this type is worse than the other – Type B parents are still present, loving, and possibly more focused on their children’s happiness and holistic health rather than milestones and checking items off a list. In other words, while the Type A parent is someone you definitely want in your kid’s project group, the Type B parent is the one who hosts the most fun play dates!

Almond Mom
Almond moms are nutrition and health-obsessed parents who exert total control of their child’s food habits. You will not find any processed foods in her pantry, and she’d sooner let her child starve rather than offer them instant noodles. These moms pack nuts and fruit for snack, and lunch is sent in a traditional steel tiffin box – never anything plastic. They level up home food as well: getting their own multi-grain atta ground at a mill rather than buying from a store, making their own ketchup. They’ll spend more on organic and farm fresh wherever possible. Women who grew up struggling with their weight may become almond moms because they never want their child to be overweight. When the child of an almond mom goes to a friend’s house, he experiences wide-eyed culture shock at seeing chips, sodas, and even chocolate on offer, as such items are contraband at home. While avoiding processed and sugary foods is obviously a great thing, Almond Moms run the risk of over-restriction, which may then spur children to go nuts (pun intended) when they finally get to make their own food choices.

Gummy Bear Mom
And who is the mother of the kid who has chips, soda, and chocolate in his house? A gummy bear mom! I can speak knowledgeably about this archetype, being one myself. When it comes to food, gummy bear moms fear restriction more than the occasional sugar crash. This doesn’t mean that they are nutritionally negligent; I am very conscientious about my boys getting enough protein, vegetables, whole grains, and good fats – and downright obsessive about their hydration, which one has to be in our drastically hot and humid climate. I just believe that as long as they are overall eating well, they are entitled to tasty treats, and should learn to decide for themselves what balance is. As soon as they were old enough to understand, my almond dad husband (or he would be, if he was the one overseeing their menu, but that he definitely isn’t!) has diligently educated them about the perils of sugar and processed foods. This education, plus reminders that healthier alternatives like fruit and nuts (yes, gummy bear moms keep those stocked too) are around, is enough for me to give them before letting them go forth and choose their own snack, or decide for themselves if they should have that candy bar now or later.

Helicopter Mom
Many parents in Chennai send domestic staff, family/company drivers, or hire an auto man to drop and pick up their kids from school. With the heat and traffic, this is one invaluable privilege that the majority of parents take advantage of. But one group of dedicated women turn up day after day, marking equal attendance as their children: the ever-present, ever-attentive, helicopter moms. This category of mother feels extreme anxiety at the thought of anything happening to her child, whether it be a twisted ankle, a sinus infection, or something scarier, even if improbable. Many of them had their own mothers or other close female relatives around during the first few years of their child’s life, and feel uneasy at the thought of a totally unrelated, hired helper being the sole babysitter. Some define helicopter parenting as wanting to shield kids from harm and failure through micro-management. They keep in regular contact with teachers, handholding their child towards better grades. While being protective is the most natural parenting instinct in the world, taking it to an extreme can impede a child’s independence and resilience.

Free-Range Mom
The opposite of the helicopter mom, the free-range mom is the type that dominated from the 1950s to 1980s, letting her kids roam around the neighbourhood and trusting they’d be back before dark. This mom doesn’t really get anxiety, and believes all’s well that ends well. Unfortunately, this category gets punished for being negligent these days, with American parents getting arrested for letting their 11-year-olds walk to the nearby store and back. India is not so strict, and you’ll see many young children cruising around Chennai on bicycles. Allowing your children to take risks encourages problem-solving skills and independence.

Crunchy Mom
The crunchy mom is practically a sister to the almond mom, but the fixation with health extends into all other areas of life as well. For example, the crunchy mom would rather whip up her own kashayam or haldi milk to nurse her child back to health, than give cough syrup, or (gasp) antibiotics! Crunchy moms do yoga and breastfeed until the child stops on his or her own. They wear organic cotton and use cloth diapers. They give plants as return gifts at birthday parties. India is the perfect place to be a crunchy mom because Ayurveda is basically the OG of crunchy, hippie, earth-conscious living. Crunchy moms prob

Silky Mom
The silky mom is definitely not relying on homemade tinctures, but happily medicates her child with whatever the doctor prescribes. She never even considered forgoing an epidural for giving birth, and has no guilt about using formula because “fed is best”. Silky moms prioritise convenience and efficiency, and trust modern methods to achieve those things. Experts say in addition to epidurals, these moms are more likely to embrace sleep training, screen time, and colourful packaged foods. There are not many loud and proud silky moms around here, since there are plenty of grandmothers and aunties around who are vocal about their judgment of these modern practices that contradict how they did things.