Here we are, dear readers, at the start of a new year! So many of us approach a new year with renewed optimism and determination to be our best selves. We purchase gym memberships, take a break from alcohol, clean out our cluttered spaces, and pursue wholesome activities. But there is a reason why most people break their New Year Resolutions by February itself, and that is because it is very difficult to sustain so many new practices started all at the same time. This is why wellness experts advise us to introduce just one new habit at a time, and make it a goal to practice that habit for 21 days straight. However we shouldn’t treat 21 as some magic number, because it can take longer for the habit to become second nature, but that is the minimum amount of time it takes for that action to become habitual.

Some people are very goal oriented and do well with rules and deadlines, whereas others who aren’t like this end up feeling bad about themselves because they “fail” so soon. That’s why instead of setting a standard of perfection to achieve, I focus on progress instead: there are some things I want to do more of, and things I want to do less of. I can be content as long as I am moving in that general direction, without strict parameters to make it a binary “pass/fail” situation. If you think this approach could work for you as well, here are some areas you can apply this to.

Less Stimulation, More Stillness and Presence
Upon opening our eyes, we start scrolling, and continue to pick up our phones throughout the day during any moment we have an idle minute. Being bombarded with news and opinions of thousands of people means constant stimulation for our minds and nervous systems. We even scroll while watching TV, to the extent that Netflix develops shows like Emily in Paris as the ideal mindless program to play in the background while our focus is only half there. The distraction affects others also, with kids giving up trying to get our attention when we are engrossed in WhatsApp or Instagram. I don’t need to go on about this topic that has been discussed to death, but some awareness of the extent to which you are distracted and stimulated 24/7 is necessary to feel motivated to reduce it.

All you need to do is reach for your phone less, starting with first thing in the morning. Take your social media apps off your home screen so your thumbs don’t swipe them open as a default–it really does become muscle memory after some time! If you have to check WhatsApp for school or work, do it quickly without getting sucked into other messages and group chats. Then be present in the process of getting yourself and your family ready for the day, and if you have ten minutes here and there, try stretching, meditating, or writing gratitudes/journaling. Meditation and visualisation are especially powerful when done in the morning: you can visualise how you want your day to go, and see yourself dealing with stress or challenges with grace, strength, and calm. I guarantee this sets you up for a much better day than you would have if you instead spent the first hour processing everything you see on social media.

To further decrease overstimulation, try to reduce the habit of picking up your phone at other quiet moments throughout the day: at red lights, in the queue at the grocery store, in between work meetings. In “The Power of Now”, Eckhart Tolle writes that ultimate joy and contentment can be found by being totally present in whatever situation you are in. It will feel uncomfortable at first, but soon you will enjoy the stillness, not to mention the snippets of real life happening all around us, spontaneous interactions with strangers, and other small pleasures we have forgotten.

Move More, Sit Less
My first point may make it look like I am anti-technology, but that is not the case! I think it is pretty cool that we can run our lives and practically build empires from wherever we sit. But all this sitting down is making us paunchy and creaky, and there is plenty of evidence that shows the health ramifications of a sedentary lifestyle.

“Moving more” is a much easier goal than “Do HIIT workouts four times a week”. Instead of carving out 45 minutes to an hour for a brisk walk, just get up and walk around throughout the day, like when talking on the phone. Not having to wear workout clothes and not designating it as exercise can make it much more doable in your mind. Start by taking little strolls, then as you get comfortable, add some stretching and rotation movements. Our bodies were meant to move much more than we do, and these few minutes of activity throughout the day will add up. If you still feel you need a class of some sort, you can look beyond intimidating boot camp style classes to anything that gets you up and moving, like dance or martial arts. A basic pedometer or smart watch that tracks your step count is a fantastic way to measure how much you are moving each day, and soon you will be eager to reach a certain step count, finding pleasurable ways to get there.

Listen More, Talk Less
These days there is more focus on the individual than the collective. As therapy and psychology-speak became more popular, young people boldly discussed their various diagnoses and traumas such as bipolar disorder, ADHD, generational trauma from colonisation and immigration, and triggers galore. This type of self-awareness is healthy if it brings you to seek treatment and healing. But it can also lead to trauma-dumping, or feeling entitled to share all your problems with whoever will listen. Such self-absorption is not only limited to oversharing your pain points. I’m sure all of you have experienced talking to someone who drones on and on about themselves, their work, their children, without pausing once to ask you anything about yourself. You walk away from such interactions feeling drained and invisible.

Thus, there are many reasons to make listening more and talking less a resolution for this year. You’ll give your quieter friends a rare chance to be heard, you’ll make people feel seen and cared for, and best of all, you will learn so much, because learning only comes from listening and not from talking. Listening to elders and children, two groups that tend to get overlooked by society, is especially rewarding. Our elders have so much wisdom to teach us, and children tell us truths and observations that we are too preoccupied to see ourselves. So give this a try by spending less time talking about the intricate details of your life, and more time asking questions about whomever you are talking to: questions about their work, recent travels, what they are watching on TV, or where they grew up are all easy for anyone to answer, and eventually you can get more comfortable asking deeper ones that in turn, forge deeper connections.

Consume Less, Reduce and Reuse More
Sustainability is the buzzword of the moment, and we are seeing the disastrous effects of climate change like with the recent cyclone that devastated Chennai. We have all been urged to do our part by reducing use of plastic and fossil fuels. However, I have observed a troubling trend of businesses producing entire product lines branded as sustainable. While it is wonderful for companies to switch to sustainable materials wherever possible, like how Myntra and Nykaa now use paper packaging, it is misleading to tell consumers that they can help the planet by buying more stuff. Some of the best ways to reduce waste and pollution are simply to produce less, consume less, and buy less. Try putting a halt to online shopping and purchasing things you need in stores only – you will immediately see how there are very few things you absolutely need, but buy without a second thought because of the ease of clicking a button and the serotonin hit you get from receiving a parcel. Stop associating holidays and events with needing to shop for them; only celebrities should be concerned about repeating outfits! Go shopping in your closet and storage areas and you’ll find plenty to reuse. Don’t order tons of beautifully decorated cookies and cupcakes for your child’s birthday party because of how aesthetically pleasing it will look on an Instagram reel; so many people avoid sugar these days that they mostly remain untouched, so is all that labour, production and cost really worth it just because it looks cute?

Another way to consume less is to reduce use of food delivery apps, which use so much fossil fuel for satisfying fleeting cravings. Embrace minimalism, and observe how liberating it feels to have less stuff cluttering your home and your mind–and more money in your bank account as a result!

As you can see, you don’t have to approach new year self-improvement goals in an all or nothing manner. Write your “Less and More” resolutions down and pin them up where you will see them, or keep them on your phone, and revisit them periodically to see if you are in alignment with your goals. Wishing you a happy and healthy 2024!