Dating apps have revolutionised the way people connect, offering convenience and access like never before. But they have also led to a troubling shift in how young people perceive relationships. Are we trading depth for disposability? Let’s explore how dating apps are shaping modern relationships, and not always for the better.

In a time not too long ago, meeting someone new romantically was often the result of chance: a fleeting smile exchanged at a coffee shop, a spark ignited at a mutual friend’s party, or a conversation that lingered long after class ended. These moments of organic connection gave relationships a foundation of shared experience and effort. Today, however, the landscape of dating has shifted dramatically with the creation of apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge. What was once a search for meaningful companionship has, in many cases, turned into an endless game of swipes and matches, with profound implications for how young people approach relationships.

One of the most glaring effects of dating apps is the commodification of human beings and the sense of disposability they foster. With an infinite pool of potential matches at one’s fingertips, it’s easy to view people as easily replaceable. Did your last date mispronounce a word or make an awkward joke? Swipe right again, and there’s a new face ready to take their place. This abundance can breed a mindset where minor imperfections or differences become deal-breakers, rather than opportunities to understand and grow with someone. The allure of “what if”—the idea that someone better could be just one swipe away—creates a perpetual state of dissatisfaction, where no relationship ever feels quite enough.

Another troubling aspect of this digital matchmaking is its emphasis on the superficial. Profiles are designed to catch attention in mere seconds, with carefully curated photos and clever bios meant to stand out in a crowded field. While physical attraction is, of course, an essential part of chemistry, the overemphasis on appearance reduces people to their most surface-level traits. In this environment, deeper qualities like kindness, humour, and shared values can take a backseat to how photogenic someone looks on a beach vacation.

This focus on superficiality extends to communication as well. Dating apps have not only altered how we meet, but also how we interact. Young people are forgetting the art of flirting—the playful exchange of glances, teasing remarks, and knowing smiles that build real-world chemistry. Instead, conversations often start and end with a generic “Hey” or clichéd pick-up line. The safety of the digital world creates a paradox: while it’s easier than ever to initiate contact, many users struggle to sustain meaningful conversations or connect on a deeper level. Social skills, once honed through real-life interactions, are at risk of becoming a lost art.

The effects of dating apps are not limited to the young and single. Married men using these platforms without their wives’ knowledge is an alarming trend that speaks to a broader issue of fidelity in the digital age. The anonymity and ease of access provided by dating apps have made it simpler than ever for people to explore extramarital connections, with little risk of getting caught if their spouses aren’t very tech savvy, another alarming trend I’ve written about before regarding Indian women in my age group. And what does it teach young single women who interact with these men on the apps? It teaches them that this is how marriage is conducted in today’s world, causing a toxic ripple effect through society.

But it’s not all doom and gloom. Dating apps have, in some cases, facilitated genuine and lasting connections. They have made dating more accessible for people who may have struggled to meet others due to geography, shyness, or other barriers. However, the challenge lies in using these tools mindfully, with an awareness of their limitations and potential pitfalls.

What can be done to navigate this swipe-dominated dating world without losing sight of what truly matters? First, we need to consciously resist the temptation to view people as disposable. A minor disagreement or an imperfect first impression shouldn’t immediately give you the “ick” and spell the end of a connection. Relationships require effort, compromise, and patience—qualities that aren’t always apparent in the fast-paced world of dating apps.

Second, let’s return to valuing substance over style. While a stunning profile picture might catch the eye, it’s the conversations that follow and the shared moments that create lasting bonds. Take the time to ask thoughtful questions, listen actively, and discover the person beyond the profile.

Finally, it’s crucial to nurture social skills outside the digital realm. Attend events, join clubs, or simply strike up conversations with strangers. Real-world interactions have a magic that no app can replicate, and they help us develop the confidence and charm that are essential in building meaningful relationships.

As for those in committed relationships, honesty and communication are more important than ever. If you feel distance in the relationship, address it directly and make it clear what you do and do not tolerate. Some married people may use dating apps as a way to flirt and get an ego boost without having to meet in real life, and therefore don’t see it as a betrayal, only to have it all come crashing down once a screenshot of their dating profile gets passed around.

Love in the age of swipe culture may be complicated, but it’s not doomed. By balancing the convenience of technology with the authenticity of human connection, we can ensure that our relationships remain fulfilling, meaningful, and true. Here’s to swiping less and loving more.