Closets are meant for clothes and not people. But what happens when a person decides to come out into a transphobic society?
The life story of Kerala-based celebrity makeup artist, social activist and entreprenure Renju Renjimar is proof that we certainly have a long way to go in embracing the LGBTQI community.

Renjimar’s hands that were hardened while working at a brickyard in her teens, are now praised for turning brides radiant and actresses ravishing.
Currently a sought-after celebrity makeup artist, she is on the wishlist of brides. If not for the pandemic, her unisex parlour in Kochi would have branched out in other parts of Kerala and in Dubai. Her parlour is inclusive with many from LGBTQI community finding employment. Renjimar makes it a point to hire them as her assistants for bridal makeup assignments and ‘Some have gone on to become independent makeup artists’.
A-list actresses Mamtha Mohandas, Rima Kallingal, Thamannah, Asha Sarath, Amala Paul, Priyamani, Kavya Madhavan and Bhavana are a few from her large clientele. But her dreams are not limited, she hopes to one day work with Deepika Padukone and Nayanthara. Renjimar was familiar with Malayalis, but she made news when she decked up Arathi Ravi Pillai, daughter of billionaire B Ravi Pillai, founder and managing director of RP Group of companies, in 2015.

Long journey, big victories
Despite Renjimar’s thriving career, what matters to her are the huge victories she makes as a woman. ‘I voted for the first time as a woman in the assembly elections in February. It was unforgettable. For years my identity card was marked as transgender. Others in queue saw me as a transgender. But I was brimming with pride because I was holding a woman’s identity card.’

A woman trapped in a man’s body. The journey of coming out of the closet and asserting herself in the society is nothing less than a phenomenal accomplishment. ‘When I was five-years-old, I told my mother that I was a girl and I wanted to wear what my sister wore. But in school, I was teased for how I carried myself. I used to wear kajal, highlight my eye-brows and colour my nails,’ she recalls.

But she had to suppress such tendencies, as her family felt she was embarrassing her older brothers. Though she began spending time playing with the boys, she was drawn to the company of girls. It was there she belonged and it happened, at a brickklin. It was the situation at home that brought her to the brickyard. But Renjimar talks about the bright side of it.
‘I was able to spend time with the women workers. It was an opportunity. I was happy from morning till evening, during which, in my imagination I was a woman, a beautiful woman carrying a load of bricks on my head. Except that my body was not,’ she says. It was at the age of 19 that Renjimar accepted herself that she too, just like her mother and sister was a woman and relocated to Kochi.

Foray into film industry
So what was it like, setting foot in the glamourous entertainment industry as a transgender?
‘I am an accidental make-up artist. The world of glitz and glamour was never on my mind.

I have not learnt it professionally. I like makeup, because I use it. I used to dress up my nieces. That is the experience I have. I got noticed because of the makeup I did for dance students. I have been bullied, teased and joked at. But I could never complain. There was no place to go with my grievances. No one would listen either. If I ever complained the response would be, ‘Isn’t it true?’ The industry displayed masculine power. I had to behave strictly to survive’, she said.

Be it bridal makeup for Arathi Ravi Pillai or film actress Bhavana, the looks have gone on to become trends and Renjimar lets us into a secret.

‘I always keep in mind the client’s identity and personality. I do not change the person’s features. I sustain it. For example, if the bride is from a rural area, we cannot go with a high makeover. Similarly, in reality shows, for the anchor, judge and participants, the makeup is different,’ she said.

Some of the common mistakes are not getting the correct undertones for Asian skin.

‘If we get the primer wrong, the foundation application too goes wrong. Knowledge of the technical side of the products used will help, like, the structure it gives, is it oily or creamy? Or is it suitable for the climate and if it would get oxidized in various temperatures and so on. I try out all the products, I use on clients. I notice the changes on my skin, if I make a mistake, I add another product to correct it. That is how I learn new tricks,’ she said. Though she does not have a guru, she considers Ambika Pillai as one, having assisted her at the Wills India fashion Week.

A dream home
‘Having grown up in a house with hardships, buying my own house had been a dream,’ she said. However, her victory was bittersweet. The house was purchased from a man who sexually violated Renjimar when she was a minor.
‘I was barely eight-years-old. I needed Rs 2 to pay for a question paper for an exam in school. Back in those days, Rs 2 was like Rs 2,000. So I went to my neighbour’s house for help. He molested me and then gave me the money. Years later, the house had come up for sale. I inquired and decided to buy it. It was not at all planned, it happened like that but while registering the house, this incident crossed my mind’, she said.

Renjimar says she is most cautious in shaping her future and knows many around her want to pull her down. But her strength lies in her life experiences. ‘I derive my strength from my experiences. I do not want to go back there ever. I will go back, if destiny takes me and I have no fear. But I do not wish to go back there. So I am careful in each step of the way. I am a role model too, so I am careful in whatever I do’, she said.

Colours of change
Renjimar believes that the shift in society’s outlook towards LGBTQI society began with Pride month. She said, ‘It was in 1997 that I relocated to Kochi. Since then, the city has gone through a sea of change. But it is with great pain that I remember the city from the 90s. If two trans people stepped out, they were not sure if they would return home peacefully. There was moral policing, targeted by policemen, teased in buses, trains, autos or even if we simply walk on the road we have heard comments from strangers. But we fought relentlessly. Looking back, I feel proud. Each member of the LGBTQI community stands in society here after braving all odds. It fills me with happiness. Celebrating Pride Month is one the reasons for the freedom and acceptance we enjoy’.

Without being too happy with her personal success, Renjimar says, ‘In South India, Kerala has a lot of achievers from the LGBTQI community. Their faces are familiar in the society because of which the community is in a better place here. However, a lot of change needs to happen as discrimination is rampant. Even as education has been opened to us, we are yet to see a teacher from amongst us, there are many qualified for a government job who have not been recruited and many who aspire to join the police department’.

‘When it comes to tourism, the Government prefers celebrities to lead the campaign, why not include our community too?’, she asks.