Yes, this is a very common heading, it just felt right for the content. Growing up, from all the fairy tales I heard, what I envisioned was there will be a prince and he will marry the princess i.e. man marries a woman and vice versa but in mid school I learnt a man can marry a man and so can a woman marry a woman, though it sounded weird, I did not have a choice to not accept it. All I had to do was to learn the science behind it and write my exam.

Though it is not fully known why people chose different sexual orientation, research shows that sexual orientation is likely caused partly by biological factors that start before birth. People don’t decide whom they get attracted to, no amount of therapy, prayers, treatment or persuading can change a person’s sexual orientation. Sexuality cannot be pinned down by biology, psychology or life experiences because human sexual attraction is decided by all these factors. From homosexuality now there is a much wider spectrum called the LGBTQ+, which includes people from all kinds of orientation.

Many straight people don’t understand this spectrum, leave alone understand, they look down at it with disgust. The disgusted looks, shaming and pain don’t really let people come out of their closets. Many people die with their real identity hidden, they live a straight life even when they would have wanted to be someone else, it’s like living inside their trapped bodies. They live trapped and die trapped.

This article is not about how people can come out of their closet, it’s about how we can help them come out of their closet, after all love is love, no matter if it’s found easily or you have to dig it from under a family pack.

The whole concept revolves around ‘live and let live’. How I choose to live is my personal choice the same way how another person lives is their choice until it does not affect mine. The key word here is ‘acceptance’. Accepting a person’s choice in how he/she wants to live.

Coming out or publicly acknowledging that their orientation is different is a task. It can be different for different people. There is no right way to do it, but there are many factors governing it, like how parents will take it, acceptance of society, judgement of friends and such. Deciding on whom you want to confide in first plays a crucial role. Think about people whom you can trust and who you feel won’t judge and will be accepting. Not just coming out, when you want to confide any kind of secret to a person, the first thing being, the person who you confide into should be someone who you will back you up rock solid, no questions asked.

Coming out in itself is a task, the minimum we can do is to ease it for them. What exactly can we do?
Stop annoying them – If you feel someone has a different sexual orientation unlike yours, stop talking in a way that depicts superiority and making them feel any inferior.

Don’t keep hinting – If you know, you know and that’s ok, or if you even have the slightest doubt about someone’s sexual orientation, keep it to yourself, do not keep giving sly hints that you may know.

Do not compare – If by chance you are getting to know about someone who is struggling to come out of the closet, in the name of pep talk don’t compare. Everyone has a different pace and a different story, comparing will only increase the anxiety and pressure of coming out, people should come out when they feel it’s right.

Untrue gossip – Do not make up stories, expecting the person to accept that he or she is also facing the same issue.

Being non-judgemental – If you know someone is struggling, try to create a non-judgemental space where the person feels safe to openly talk about the battle he or she is dealing with.

Creating a safe environment – Create a space where they feel welcomed, a place where they will feel like an equal and not lesser than anyone.

Empathy – Of course, you cannot feel or realise what they are going through, they do not want your sympathy either. All they want is a few empathetical words which emphasises that you care.

Don’t be forceful – People should come out in their own will. There should be no external force that will push them to come out unplanned and when they are not ready.

The amount of suicides that happened in the name of different sexual orientation over the years are on an alarming rise. The name callings, bashings, shaming have no limits, as it is they are trying to fight their inner demons, some know for sure and some are still trying to figure out. In all of this the best we can do is to be real.

Be real in whom you are, be open in how much you understand about the situation. Offer the help that you can do.

Live and let live after all love is love.