“Mothers are eulogized. But then mothers can also be doing things the wrong way. They can also create a lot of confusion. There were many instances I had to correct myself and there were times when Tharun corrected me like this one time when I was complaining about a family member, and he said – “Amma, will you stop! My views and experiences with that person are totally different. Now, don’t come and malign my thoughts about her. I remember his words till date. When we don’t like someone we want everyone to dislike that person. It is not necessary.”
Actor and Educationist 65-year-old Geetha Bhascker mother to the award-winning film director Tharun Bhascker – with hit films like Pelli Choopulu and Ee Nagaraniki Emaiyindi shares a few parenting tips for mothers. The fact that she is a teacher also influenced how she brought up her son. She says it is important for kids to understand that they need to face failure with the same attitude that they do with success. Geetha dedicates her first book of “recipes and habits that catered to the well-being of (my) family”, titled ‘My Habits My Recipes’ to her filmmaker son Tharun.
She advises mothers not to always say the kids are right and run to schools to complain when the kid comes home with any issue. While supporting the kids when they are right is equally important – admonishing them for any wrong doing is that much crucial she says. That kind of explains the famous slap from her which Tharun talks about even today. This was when one teacher came to her about some mischief.
“When Tharun made his short film ‘Junoon’ for a competition (the same one that cast Priyadarshi in the lead); while I like all mothers wanted him to win a competition – I told him that there were films that were better as I felt that year some really good films were submitted. He was angry then, but today he has learnt to deal with success and failure equally.
Geetha Bhascker says that Tharun has also learnt not to take negativity too seriously. As an educationist she has worked on a curriculum that allows teaching through art – giving live examples. She relates, “When he was still very young there were floods in Hyderabad and I took him around in my two-wheeler to show him how privileged we are. People have lost so much because of floods and water is so dangerous, water is also so useful. I showed him the flood situation, and talked about the five elements.”
“Once a boy in his class made fun of him saying – even though you don’t study well you can draw on roads – he came home crying. Soon, we saw an old man making portraits on road in Begumpet. People were paying him some money, I showed it to Tharun, who was around six years of age at the time and told him to give a reply to his friend that art is feeding the old man who he is quite happy with the earnings, and is not having to dependent on one even at this age.”
Her son, she says, has turned out well – a successful director was often considered a small filmmaker and was chided for not taking up bigger projects – he deals with it all well enough and carries on with his work.
According to her, Tharun was timid but has outgrown it. The reason for it she says is perhaps because as a young mother when she faced problems and would cry sitting in a corner. She feels she shouldn’t have done it. She believes that parents are responsible for their children and have to swallow their happiness or sadness and be balanced in front of the kid.