Like the birds flying through the dark gray skies in anticipation of a storm on the horizon, I sit alone reflecting on what life has come to be post the lockdown; with a few that’s left before one turns another page, with nothing but experiences or a lesson that came about as an outcome of choices made, hoping that I’ve gotten better and are a better fit for the times ahead.

A topic that has intrigued me most, is one’s experiences and what we make of them, limited by habits, self-critical, self- loathing and self-blame often leading to disappointments instead of being mindful that failures or falling short of expectations is always a possibility; and taking responsibility for what was within one’s control and finding solace that one got to try, and got to fail, and got to learn. One got to get better. For one to embrace and acknowledge that every situation has multiple variables at play that are beyond one’s control, be it a wrong, a failure, a bad relationship, a conversation gone wrong, a project that failed, a commitment one could not keep. Make peace with imperfections and shortcomings; let go of that rigid stance on the outcome, to fit a social narrative or standing. A profound reminder that one should hold on to, is that no one cares, or even if they do, it cannot be for long, because everyone is busy fighting their own demons and shortcomings.

So be kind to yourself; they say “regret is like holding on to burning charcoal; the longer you hold it; the more it burns you from inside”. So, choose to let go and move on with your learning. Surely what we shine light on finds a mental impression to last, learn from and realize; let’s consider not negating but making better mental impressions that empower us.

We’ve all at some point of time been told to watch what we speak, be careful of our thoughts, simply because we manifest and facilitate a creation that fits. Life sure is no coincidence; it’s a sequence of incidents that could strike a chord in this conversation; like the constant sighting of a car of your choice and color when you are considering buying one. You surely tend to see more of what you shine your light upon.
Be assured that your intention created your reality and the experiences with it, so when things go wrong and there is nothing one could have done better, exit with a learning and exit quickly, knowing you are better equipped if it were to come around again. Don’t let it linger and cause more damage than necessary, but instead shift focus onto your wins; shed some light on them, a little longer than needed; celebrate the wins no matter how small, for the mind does not discriminate between a big or small win.

So when your day comes to an end, you are left with two choices; either reflect on all that went wrong, to wake up feeling anxious and anticipating more trouble, or instead reflect on your wins or at least all that you got to do and all that you celebrated through the day, thus waking up to a day full of continued celebrations and wins.

Surrender to the fact that life isn’t fair and there is a need to tilt the odds in your favor intentionally, to make things better for yourself and find contentment in the incremental progress that you achieve by repeatedly practicing positive habits.

Closing with a quote by Zig Ziglar:
“Repetition is the mother of learning, the father of action, which makes it the architect of accomplishment.”

Your life experience is a personal choice made each day; celebrate when you can and you shall find more in life to celebrate!

Ajith Anirudhan
Personal Empowerment Coach
Health & Wellness – (ICF USA)
Author | TEDx | Public Speaker