Happiness is a choice.
I’ve met people who have been blessed with bountiful and beautiful lives, yet are always wallowing in, or recovering from, some sadness or calamity. Then there are others who have experienced far more than their fair share of pain and loss, but carry on optimistically, refusing to let it dim their light. Whatever your circumstances, you can choose to be happy or choose to be a bummer; your mindset is within your control.

No one is thinking about you that much.
Worried that you were underdressed for a party? That your Instagram post was a little cringey in hindsight? Or that you got too tipsy and overshared at girls’ night? Worrying is a waste of time because the fact is, people are not thinking about you enough to even form opinions about these perceived missteps. We are all so caught up in our own lives that there simply isn’t enough time to be so judgemental about others. Shake it off and keep it moving.

Everyone should be lifting weights.
Whether by yourself at home or at a gym with a trainer, men and women of all ages should prioritise strength training at least three times a week, steadily increasing the weight they lift. With the amount of varied and contradictory health information out there these days, it is comforting to know that everyone agrees on this one fact.

It is healthier to prioritise your marriage over your child than vice versa.
A child who grows up believing they are the centre of their parents’ universe may end up entitled and self-centred. Show your child from day one that time with your partner is a priority, and he or she will grow up with a healthy and accurate idea of how a strong family unit functions.

Change is the only thing you can count on.
A few years into our marriage, I started to bemoan the fact that my husband and I weren’t maintaining the same honeymoon-phase attachment we had before. A friend reminded me simply that “equations change” as we grow and evolve. It is not a problem to resolve, but a natural evolution of life; it is pointless to dwell on the past and mourn what once was. Enjoy each phase of life while maintaining enough detachment to adapt gracefully when the next change comes.

Don’t be a permanent guest.
Priya Parker is a facilitator and author who writes about the importance of gathering. In a recent post, she and her husband discussed how people today have become too comfortable being permanent guests. In our parents’ day, being invited to a dinner party would start an unspoken countdown: within a reasonable amount of time, they were expected to return the favour by hosting the other couple. This reciprocity was simply understood as a basic part of good manners.

Today, whether because our lifestyles have become more isolated or because people feel pressured to entertain to a certain standard, many are hosting less and settling into the role of permanent guest. I must say that I don’t see this happening too much in Chennai yet, but I have had friends in the US mention it. This brings me to my next point.

Gather often and keep it simple.
Whether it is a potluck picnic, a movie night with just popcorn and dessert, or a full-on dinner party, take the initiative to plan gatherings and bring people together regularly. The priority is not to impress but to foster connection. Humans need plenty of face-to-face interaction to feel good, and it has never been easier to replace that with screens.

If you think you need to wait for a bigger budget or a prettier home before you start doing this, you don’t! Most people appreciate invitations and will be touched by your gesture. Host within your means, without holding yourself to anyone else’s standard.

You can’t outrun a bad diet.
Another version of this saying is, “Abs are made in the kitchen.” Some people try to embrace being both foodies and fitness enthusiasts by declaring, “Oh, I eat whatever I want and just work it off at the gym.” This may work for people in their twenties, but as we get older, we learn that it all starts with diet. This is a tough pill to swallow for people like me, who place far too much importance on food, but the sooner we grasp it, the better for our body goals.

Self-care is not selfish.
Women, especially mothers, are often made to feel guilty for spending time, money or energy on themselves. But running yourself into the ground does not make you more loving or more devoted; it simply leaves you exhausted, resentful and with very little left to give. Filling your own cup is not an indulgence but a responsibility, because you cannot continue pouring into the lives of your partner, children, family and friends when you are running on empty. Rest, exercise, time alone, therapy, hobbies or even an occasional day spent doing absolutely nothing are not luxuries. They are what allow you to return to the people you love with more patience, warmth and generosity.

Mental illnesses are valid, but managing them is your responsibility.
These days, too many young people use therapy-speak to explain away their inability to work hard or adjust to uncomfortable situations. While it is wonderful that there is now so much more awareness and acceptance of conditions such as depression, OCD and ADHD, it is the responsibility of the person with the condition to manage it. Expecting the world around you to coddle or constantly accommodate you is neither fair nor realistic.

Comparison is the thief of joy.
Advertisers have figured this out, which is why social media is the ultimate money-printing machine. It uses visuals that encourage us to compare our lives to those of people who appear to be immersed in all things beautiful, luxurious, cool and healthy. Those people, in turn, have learnt that they can make plenty of money by reinforcing this narrative.

Even if you don’t follow influencers or use social media, you may still be susceptible to the very human tendency to compare yourself to your peers. Learning to stop focusing on what your life lacks and instead feel grateful for its blessings is the OG happiness hack.

Don’t cut corners when it comes to health; question the other expenses you take for granted.
Many people balk at the fees charged by nutritionists, personal trainers and therapists, yet have no problem buying fast fashion several times a month. Which investment makes more sense?

A friend was recently commenting on how her increased efforts at the gym were producing great results. I asked why she didn’t increase the number of sessions she had with her personal trainer, but she said that would eat into her shopping budget. I pointed out that she could instead go shopping in her own closet, because the changes to her body would allow her to fit into more of her clothes and feel great in them.

Similarly, another friend who was struggling with her marriage cited the high cost of therapy sessions in her country as the reason counselling was not a practical option. When I pointed out that the price of her Chanel bag could have paid for dozens of sessions, she didn’t have an answer!

Being easily delighted is a life hack.
Some people aspire to have high standards for everything; to them, demonstrating childlike glee at simple things is uncool or unsophisticated. I’ve been fortunate enough to attend some fabulous parties, and it saddens me to see how some social butterflies barely notice or openly appreciate the décor, ambience or little details because they have seen it all before.

On the other hand, the same optimistic people I mentioned earlier are often the type to be easily delighted: by the little heart a barista draws in their latte, or a bird sighting on their morning walk. Allow yourself to be uplifted by these seemingly quotidian occurrences, and life becomes a lot more fun!