“Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say “My tooth is aching” than to say “My heart is broken” ― C.S. Lewis

This quote from the book ‘The problem of Pain’ by Sir C S Lewis, reminds me of a client I had attended to in my early days of my career. She had come to me for counselling and was grieving over the loss of her elder brother. She said, “Still can’t believe he is gone, he was so full of life, always laughing and making jokes. We were just playing cards when he said he is going to fetch some water to never return.”
It’s not always that pain is loud, most of the times it is suffered in silence. Depression need not be loud and visible, it’s mostly invisible, sometimes the ones who are laughing hard, will be the ones who are suffering inside.

Talking by science, depression is caused by unbalanced brain chemical called the ‘serotonin’. Serotonin is the feel-good hormone in our body; it helps regulate systems in the brains that control everything from body temperature to sleep and libido. If you ask is it only serotonin that causes depression, the recent studies suggest otherwise. Depression could be caused by many factors like stressful life events, prolonged illness, genetics to name a few.

In many people depression looks invisible to others, by others I mean even the close aid. Throughout my career I have seen many people suffer alone, even when offered help they decline. The taboo surrounding mental health is very strong. People often tend to delay or avoid taking professional help in the fear of being judged. The prejudice, stigma and discrimination could be of any magnitude but will lead to slimming the chances of seeking help.

Studies suggest that depression is the cause of over half the suicides worldwide. Depression can be termed a disorder if it lasts a minimum of two weeks. Depression is not always the person who cannot get out of bed, it sometimes is the person who looks the happiest in the room. It is called ‘smiling depression’, where a person appears cheerful, socially active and even successful externally.

So, how can we pick out the person who is depressed and help them seek help? In cases where there is withdrawal, sadness and laziness, there are higher chances of people finding out a person is going through a certain state, but there are cases when the person looks all normal and involved but is still battling a war inside. How can we spot them?

Look out for sudden changes in behaviour, the person suddenly is over attentive, laughs for petty jokes, is physically present but suddenly loses concentration, drifts off from the present and gets back to the situation immediately. These are the first symptoms, when you look closer, you can find a pattern change in their attitude, they suddenly appear more positive than usual, start giving unwarranted gyaan, they are hyper productive and may give very deep comments even on situations they are not involved in. These are the classic symptoms to look out in people who refuse to accept the situation. Encourage them to seek help and be present for them, so that their depression doesn’t aggravate.