Actor Meghana Raj Sarja’s (wife of late popular Kannada actor Chiranjeevi Sarja) story of motherhood is incredibly remarkable and inspirational at the same time. As a single mother treading the path of motherhood and being a doting mom to a five-year-old, the artiste has faced her share of challenges and a roller coaster of emotions along the way, including utmost joy while watching her son Raayan Raj Sarja grow.  Her journey reflects resilience, quiet strength, and an unwavering commitment to her son. Meghana has encountered her fair share of trials, but she has always emerged stronger from each one, carrying both vulnerability and courage with grace. Motherhood has brought her pure bliss and happiness, an experience like no other. This courageous woman continues to redefine herself with every passing day. In this Mother’s Day special issue, the talented artiste opens up about being a mother to Raayan, her journey through motherhood, the lessons that have shaped her, her parenting mantra and more in this candid chat…

How has motherhood changed you as a person and as an artiste?
The reason I used to work before and the reason I work now is completely different. Earlier, I used to prioritise myself, but now I know how to prioritise myself while also prioritising another person. I am important to me, but I also know how to put my son before me. This Meghana was born when Raayan was born—this is literally Meghana 2.0.
As an artiste, I don’t think much has changed because I still have the same hunger for roles, and I still enjoy running around trees like I used to before. But as a person, I have become more mature. Earlier, if someone complimented my looks, it would go to my head, but now I take it in a more mature way.

How did you feel when you held Raayan for the first time?
When I held him, I was in awe of how I was the reason for the creation of this tiny human. I did not have any motherly feeling though. I was in awe of this tiny human in my hands- his hands, his legs and his miniature mouth. I was emotional but the miracle of creating a life overtook any other feeling.

What does being a mother mean to you today?
Three years ago, my sole purpose was to keep Raayan happy- make sure he’s fed well and doesn’t hurt himself as he was a baby back then. But today he’s five-and-a-half and going to first grade, so now my responsibility has changed from keeping the child happy to preparing the child for the world. From what he’s consuming to the output of the consumption, everything matters to me now. As a mother, the best thing I can do for him is to keep him prepared. It’s a big bad world out there and one needs to prepare their child but you still need to enjoy life- you need to find a fine balance.

Was there a moment where you truly felt like a mom for the first time?
I don’t remember one single moment, but for the longest time, I couldn’t feel mom-like whenever I used to look at Raayan, the conversations used to be more sibling-like than motherly. Over the years, I have become a mother.

For every first-time mother, the concept of motherhood is so new- we are still figuring it out and we are still being babied by our own mothers and one fine day, we are a mother be to a new being! It’s taken time for me to feel the maternal instinct.

Would you say you are a hands-on mom or a relaxed one?
I would say I’m a hands-on mom. I’m very proud to say that I do everything for Raayan – from making breakfast to packing the tiffin for him. From the minute I wake up to the time he sleeps, I’m a hands-on mom.

Are you a helicopter mom or do you believe in giving your child space to grow independently?
I believe in giving my child space to grow. From a very young age, his choice has mattered to me. I believe in giving him freedom because he needs to learn to decide for himself and needs to learn to not be dependent. There are certain things that he’s too young to do, for which I have to hover around him a bit. If I’m buying clothes for him, I ask him if he likes it and he’s comfortable with it. I give him that space.

What is your parenting mantra?
The whole concept of parenting is something which I’m still learning, because with your first child, everything is trial and error. When it’s your only child, you have a lot of expectations from that child. Now that’s something I’m doing differently- I’m giving my son his space to grow, to think and be his own person. From the time my pregnancy was announced, the kind of expectations that people were having from him were enormous. The fact that a little child had to prove so much did bother me. My parenting mantra is that every child and parent is different. There might be another single mother with a single child and there might be a very different kind of parent. Whatever it is, the way of bringing up children is different for each child. We should stop comparing our children and our parenting styles to others.

What values are most important for you to pass on to your child?
My child really needs to be respectful of people which I feel is lacking in a lot of children now. Kids reed to be respectful to one and another too. Being connected to families is important tool. With nuclear families and people doing things with friends and peers, people are forgetting to stay connected with siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents who make up the core support system of every individual’s life. This bonding will help the child become a better person.

How do you handle self-doubt as a mom?
I’m always questioning myself and I’ve put unnecessary pressure on myself because I have certain goals as to how to secure a future for my child. I know I’m being unrealistic but I have this ideal lifestyle set for my child and I ask myself if I’m doing enough. But then I tell myself that nobody is perfect.

What’s the most challenging phase of being a mom?
Accepting that my life has changed was challenging as when you become a mother, you’re just not prepared for what comes after that.

What has your child taught you?
My child has taught me a lot about life. He was the only reason I’ve looked at life in a positive and happy manner where it wasn’t just about existing and surviving. I’m living my life to the fullest every day and that’s what I’ve learnt from my child. From his point of view, he has everything – he has me and he’s happy. He doesn’t understand that for a family to be complete, there should have been another person. He doesn’t know the norms of society. I’ve learnt from him that we just expect too much because of societal pressure.

Has motherhood made you rediscover any part of yourself?
Absolutely. I’ve always been a fierce, outspoken and ‘ready to take on the world’ kind of a person, but those traits had taken a backseat. I think motherhood has made me rediscover that part of myself.

What advice would you give to new moms who look upto you?
I’d tell them not to be afraid to ask for help. To be a good mother, you don’t have to do everything by yourself. If you’re taking help from someone, don’t feel guilty. For new mothers who have no support system, please do get one as there is nothing wrong in asking for help. If you have any doubts regarding your child, go to a doctor or an expert, don’t take advice from random people. Be happy and don’t overexert yourself. You are as new as the newborn baby, so give yourself credit for giving birth to a miracle.