You can run around with girls and boys all your life and it’s considered adorable; but when second puberty strikes, it’s like you’re suddenly walking a thin line between friends and potential lovers. Yes. Life is strange.
I’ve gotten along with guys better than with girls my whole life. Possibly, because I was a tomboy since I was very young, and while girls my age were trying on princess dresses and planning out dream weddings, I was busy rolling in the mud and climbing trees. However, as time went by, the constant outings and hour-long talks began to ring suspicion in everyone’s eyes
Suddenly, simple friendships were too good to be true.
So, why is it so shocking for men and women to simply be friends? Why does there have to be some sort of attraction there regardless of the relationship? Why is it so difficult?
Here are a few reasons:
People always assume you guys are dating.
Although what others think won’t directly affect your friendship, the idea that there may be more people that think you are dating could possibly change things. They say, say something to the universe and it might come true. So you get the drift!
Now that you realize how your time together can be perceived, you become more cautious about spending time together, especially alone. This specific point is particularly annoying because you want to be able to show off the fun times and hang out carefree, but the rumors will eventually begin to bother either of you.
Currently, I have a male friend that I adore to the ends of the earth. Yet, all my friends and family are placing bets as to when our wedding will take place. There are no signs of anything beyond a friendship, yet the rumors are loud and clear and in all honesty, super annoying. It is slowly making the friendship awkward and the question of whether or not we may actually have feelings for each other seems to constantly be looming above us.
For example, one day you share a deep, intimate secret with a guy friend. Now, you have a deeper bond and that changes the way you two view each other. Before you know it, the comfort between you two grows and eventually you know each other like the back of your hands. Don’t get me wrong, this sort of bond isn’t a bad thing, but creating a connection like this can begin to bring forward feelings you didn’t think would be felt at all.
And the things that make you such good friends could also make you great partners, no? The best partners are often best friends too, after all.
This is especially confusing. Let’s say you became friends because you watched the same shows and love the same bands. So, you have Netflix nights and go to concerts together, often. Isn’t that something a ‘successful’ couple would do as well? Where does one draw the line? Does a line even exist?
The problem seems to not have a real solution and at this point, I say: have your fun! Who cares if people think you’re dating? If you’re not then you’re not! If feelings do eventually come up, don’t be afraid to express them. If things work out, you have a great friend now as your partner and if things don’t work out, you’ve successfully survived the awkward ‘will it or won’t it’ stage and you now have a best friend forever, who just happens to be a boy.
write to me at firstname.lastname@example.org